Movie Reviews – III

Time for some movie reviews again.

Jumper. I didn’t know anything about this movie when my brothers dragged my ass to the movie theater on my birthday. It was quite a refreshing experience as I did not have any opinions about this movie beforehand. The story is basically about this dude that has a very unique ability, he can teleport himself anywhere in the world. He uses his ability in a very human-like way, by this I mean the filmmakers did not make this guy into any kind of a super hero, and so he very selfishly makes his life extremely comfortable. This, his selfish convenience, becomes extremely clear once you see him in his huge skyscraper apartment, and he’s watching a disaster on TV and doesn’t care about the people in danger even though he in the blink of an eye could go there and rescue them. Of course, there has to problems for him or the movie wouldn’t be interesting; there is this group of people called Paladins that kills “jumpers”. I give this movie a 3 out of 5. It’s nothing extraordinary, just your typical american pop corn movie.

The Filth And The Fury. This is an awesome documentary about a band that everybody have heard about but nobody knows anything about. England, it’s the 1970’s, the government is insisting that everything is just fine, but the people knows that’s not true. This is a time when something needs to be done, and so a few youngsters finds a way to shake things up, and they decide to do so by forming a band called Sex Pistols. How come there was a great need in Great Britain for a band like this to exist, what was the impact they made throughout their short existence, and what is their legacy? Watch this great film. 4 stars!

Red Dragon. Hannibal Lecter. A legendary fictitious character played by the living legend Anthony Hopkins. This story takes place before Hannibal, and even before The Silence Of The Lambs. A retired FBI agent played by Edward Norton, is being dragged back to work on a case, and he needs the help of Hannibal Lecter. Surprisingly exciting movie. 4 stars!

Shoot ‘Em Up. I didn’t get this movie. I got the feeling the filmmakers really wanted to make something really wild and cool. They failed. The plot is not very interesting, the action is nothing you haven’t seen before. I’ll be kind and give this one 2 stars for good effort.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix. I have no idea what this movie is about because it’s only the second Potter movie I’ve watched. There are like a gazillion Potter movies out there, so how the hell are you supposed to keep track of them all and remember which one you’ve watched and what happened in it? Oh well, this one was pretty exciting even though I didn’t understand everything, and it looked cool too. 3 stars.

Blades Of Glory. This is, to be brutally honest, one of the funniest movies I’ve watched! Will Ferrell just gets better and better for every movie I see him in. OK, so this story is about two figure skating rivals that gets banned from the world of competitive figure skating for life. But they find a loophole, and by competing together as the first male-male figure skating couple they are able to compete. Hilarious movie. 3½ stars.

Movie Reviews

Back in May last year I got a few comments from people saying they liked my reviews, and Mazze actually wanted me to do more of these, and I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, my man….

This year is only on its fourth day, and I have already watched many movies. So many that I feel I don’t want to watch another one for a long time… but I’m guessing it’s just the tiredness since I have been up for more than 24 hours now. Anyway, dear friends, bloggers and mutants, here are a few short movie reviews. As usual I rate the movies on a scale from 1 to 5.

I Am Legend
Robert Neville, the only survivor after a horrific drug experiment gone wrong is living in an empty New York City by day, hiding from monsters by night. It was a good movie, though too slow in certain parts. Will Smith who played the character of Robert Neville did a great job and I enjoyed watching him on the big screen. Rating: 3 out of 5.

Shrek The Third
Why, oh why did they need to make this movie? The first Shrek was awesome. The second movie… not so much. This third one… agh, bury it and speak of it no more. It’s like the writers just put anything random on paper, and the makers of the movie just did this because they had nothing better to do… and the result is a mish-mash of utter shit! Rating: 1,5 out of 5.

The Condemned
I actually enjoyed this movie even though I pretty much knew how it would play out and end up. There are movies with a similar kind of plot, but this movie is a good mix of The Running Man and Battle Royale. Wrestling star Stone Cold Steve Austin plays the lead character, he is a government agent who screwed up on a mission and was therefore put in jail abroad. Then this super rich TV producer comes along and bribes the warden to release the convict and Austin’s character is put on an isolated island on a far corner of the earth only to fight a whole bunch of bad guys. This mindless piece of Saturday evening action entertainment is worth a rating of 3 out of 5.

Planet Terror
This is the second film out of two of the Grindhouse Double Feature made by Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill 1 & 2) and Robert Rodriguez (Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Sin City). I don’t know how to sum up this movie. It’s really cool, and it’s really disgusting. By accident a bio-weapon explodes turning people into zombies. Zombies kill people. Uninfected people kill zombies. That’s pretty much it… however, I really enjoyed it. Rating 3 out of 5

Rescue Dawn
This is the true story about Dieter Dengler who once was a little boy and all he wanted to do was to fly. D. Dengler is a German-American who was sent out on a mission to Laos in 1965 before the Vietnam war started. He crashed. He was caught and tortured. My all time favorite actor Christian Bale plays Dieter Dengler, another favorite actor of mine, Steve Zahn, does one of the best performances of his career, Werner Herzog directs and the end result with these people could not be anything else but great. And great it was. This movie is really exciting; would they be able to escape? This movie is really scary (not in a horror-flick kind of way), to think that people do these kinds of things to one another. This movie touched my heart and honestly I thought: “Why can’t I be a little bit more like Dengler”, and by the end of the film I also thought “this is exactly why I want to make films”. This great film deserves nothing less than an almost full fiver, 4,5 out of 5

Disturbia
A teenage boy crashed the car and he sees his father’s death. He is provoked by his teacher, who mentions the boy’s father, punches the teacher and a judge sentences him to three months in house arrest. He spends his days inside the house watching his neighbours through his windows, and he is convinced one of them is a serial killer. Let the hunt begin. Had it not been for all the clichés that are so damn typical for movies aimed towards a teenage audience this movie had scored a full four. But I’m sorry to say that there were too many annoyances to someone my age so the points dropped quickly. 3 out of 5.

Gulliver’s Travels
We all know the book. We all know what happens. But it was a good show nonetheless. So good in fact that the story drew me in, and I found myself not being in “analytic mode” anymore. That means there is something about the story that makes you forget everything else. But, as with so many other productions there is something that just doesn’t seem right… even though you may not fully be aware of what it is… to make the points drop. 3 out of 5.

88 Minutes
Al Pacino. With a name like that one expects the movie to be more than great. Dr. Jack Gramm, a forensic psychiatrist gets a death threat and he finds out he has only 88 minutes to live, which means he has only 88 minutes to find out who is going to kill him. Do yourself a big favour and don’t ever watch this one. Total piece of crap. I was so disappointed. Not a very clever plot. Very predictable. The “twist” was super lame. What were you thinking, Al? 1,5 out of five.

Until next time, watch a lot of movies!