To be reminded you’re fragile

It’s been rough lately, really, really rough. Mentally and physically.

Yesterday as I was driving the truck to a store and all of a sudden my nose starts bleeding. I was a little annoyed because it takes two hands to steer and use the gear shift, I would have needed a third hand to hold my nose. Anyway, I got the truck there and told my co-pilot I need to sit for a while, at least until the nose stops bleeding. It didn’t. It got bad, really bad.

I hurried into the bathroom at the store and stood there and tried all the tricks I knew on how to stop a nose bleed. Nothing helped. I thought I should call my dad, he used to work at hospitals. He then gave me another tip, but that didn’t help either. Fifteen minutes later I was still standing in the bathroom and the nosebleed had got worse and all I could do was to stand there. I panicked a little and called my dad again and I told him it won’t stop and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Eventually the nosebleed stopped, and I went back to work. My co-pilot went home and I had three places left to deliver to. I was worried my nose would start bleeding again, but it didn’t and I got the next store done.

I went on to the second to last place and just as I’m turning around the back to get to the loading dock my nose starts bleeding. I had to sit in the truck for a while and hope and pray it would stop.

But this time I knew help was coming. My dad was out working with his friend, and dad’s friend is also my boss. They came out to the store and the first thing boss said was: “go home and rest, I’ll manage the rest of this because I want to see you on Monday again.”

I was completely exhausted I had trouble even standing up and I bet some of my neighbours must have thought I was drunk as I staggered home. I felt small and fragile and was reminded I’m not superman. It’s a good thing to be reminded of.