“Random Thoughts of A Neat Disorder”
Wow, another friend of mine has become a father to a cute little child. The very first thing I thought upon hearing/reading about this was that I am glad for him, and the very next thing I thought was that I wondered how many of my friends are not married with children. I couldn’t think of many! In fact I have more “married with children” friends than single friends. Which raised another thought, or rather a memory.
My mother told me once when I was a wee boy that: “there comes a time in everybody’s life when you suddenly notice that people around you start having families.”
That time came a few years ago; it seemed like everybody I know would get hitched and start a family of their own within two years or so. Suddenly I found myself not recognizing my life anymore as everything had changed. Everybody were suddenly stressed out of their minds and nobody had time for anything other than staying awake night after night, feeding the children and changing diapers, suffering from lack of sleep and from not having fun with your friends.
My brother has a family, and two of the most wonderful kids I’ve ever known (I have to say that, of course, as they are my nephew and niece 
), my closest friends are all married and have one child or more. Many good friends and other acquaintances have got married and got children. And I, The Dankku, stand here confused and thoughtful.
Now, I’m certainly not complaining, nor do I feel sorry for myself but honestly I sometimes feel a little left out. Like life forgot about me. Or maybe I forgot to live, I don’t know…
Anyway, this was just something I thought about this afternoon. I don’t even know if I want to get hitched and have children myself. I guess a part of me does, and another part doesn’t. It’s complicated. I’m complicated. Life is complicated.
Life… it goes on even if I should never be so blessed and lucky to contribute with little wee baby Dankku’s and Dankkuette’s.
July 29, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I guess I’m kinda in the crossroads of you and your other friends…married with no kids (and no plans for any in the near future). But I have the same thing, I have other friends who already have one or two kids and it does change things a lot. The whole dynamics change and you’re right, it’s like all of a sudden they’ve taken off in high gear down another road.
I don’t know if this will help you, but it helps me think about it a bit. I know that God uses people in different ways, and he puts people in very different circumstances. He creates all kinds of diversity, and it’s really awesome how everything works together. So maybe you will never have any Dankku juniors or Dankuette’s (hilarious, by the way
), and maybe I will never have any little Jake’s or Robin’s. But I know that whatever the case, life is going to turn out as it is supposed to. God has it all in control, and I love that. I think that’s amazing.
Like I said, helps me think about it all when life is changing really fast. Maybe it helps you too?
July 29, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I’ve certainly thought along those lines too, Jake. On one hand it’s difficult, especially on long lonely nights when your thoughts race uncontrolled and all the “what if’s, why not’s and how come’s” start appearing. But on the other hand, as you said, trusting that everything turns out as it is supposed to is a relief and definitely worth it if one can be patient. You never know what is going to happen, I guess that is good and bad. I’m in a long process of learning to not worry about stuff, and trying to let whatever is supposed to happen just happen.
July 29, 2008 at 10:37 pm
That definitely is tough to do. I wonder sometimes how come we can trust our best friends, or our families, or whatever, but we have such a hard time trusting God when we know he’s got it all under control in a way we could never even imagine being in control. You know, the Bible says, “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” I really should try and do that more, because it’s when I try to trust in myself that I get all stressed and uncertain. I suppose that is why those words are found in the book of wisdom!
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July 29, 2008 at 11:48 pm
I’m not sure one can compare trusting ones friends to trusting God. But I think I have to do some more thinking on that so I don’t say anything too stupid.
One definition of trust, according to a dictionary, is to “allow without fear”. I think that being afraid of letting go and essentially placing your life in somebody else’s will and control is probably the scariest thing one can do. If one can’t control oneself, then what can you control? I can’t think of anything that would be scarier than having to do just that.
July 30, 2008 at 12:17 am
I know that feeling. The feeling that everybody are getting married and having children or just moving in with boyfriend or whatnot. And I’m like: “what the hell…I haven’t even had one boyfriend/girlfriend yet.”
Still I am happy for them all, but there is still weird feeling too somewhere inside me. Like…I want that too.
July 30, 2008 at 7:33 am
Oh, good comments. Being able to trust that God has everything under control and that all will be alright gets harder when getting a family.
So, this was very uplifting for me.
Thanks Jake and Dankku, and have great lives!
July 30, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Great, Mazze.